Remember that sex scene from American Psycho?
Ya, why?
We should try that some time.
her last google searches are 'cheap african safari' and 'what does lion taste like'
You told my mother that her salad dressing tasted like semen.
I just finished washing your number off of my chest. I'm Bryan by the way.
I just used my thong as a hair tie. I think I reached my limit.
I'm drinkin whiskey outta the bottle trying to earn the trust of some ducks in the yard
Great. Now I'm always going to be the roommate that boned a guy with a third nipple.
I'm pretty sure when you walk down Broadway and can pick out people you've slept with.. It might be a problem. I'm leaving for rehab tomorrow.
I cannot tell if the couch is cold or I spilled beer. THAT kind of night.
One good thing out of all this is her ass is huge. Like Australia Big.
guys with girlfriends don't have a leg to stand on when they get mad at you for fucking other guys
There is maybe 10 hours out of any given day we aren't sober.
Remember earlier when I was excited about finding that birth control pill in my purse? Definitely acid.
Do you remember vividly describing the shape and girth of my cock to that girl last night?
ALL I WANT IN MY MOUTH IS A GLORIOUS COCK SMOTHERED IN CHOCOLATE. DICK AND CHOCOLATE; IS IT TOO MUCH FOR A GIRL TO ASK FOR?!
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