Please sleep at your girlfriend's tonight
Why?
'Cause I wanna jack off tonight.. And you being in the room makes things awkward
how can getting a pizza be this hard?
when you've been drinking 14 hours anythings impossible
I'm too tired to go all the way tonight, especially if you're going to quote Katy Perry at me during
she got to the point every few minutes she checked to see if her boobs were still there.
I made out with all three roommates...I didnt realize that was actually an awkward situation.
This is the most scared i've been of my hands since i did shrooms.
im just gonna lie here and collect money in this whoppers bag while sprawled out on this bench and explain that its to buy weed for my hangover
You may genuinely find a use for the siphon. But the bag of human hair is less likely.
I couldn't find a lighter, so I smoked a bowl with a birthday candle.
I enjoy the level of friendship we have achieved until you ask me to determine what may or may not be gentile warts via iphone pic
I just put vagisil on my bug bites how do you think my morning is going
I love him about as much as I'd love fucking myself with a cactus.
I remember walking into a bathroom stall that had a couple fucking in it and giving them a condom and a thumbs up and then leaving
So I fell alseep while I was motorboating that girl last night infront of the entire party.
Try me, you 5'5 gremlin
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