it was terrible. i could've done a better job by myself.
ok so i jsut did the walk of shame with this random guy that i had sex with at the hotel party, and the lady at the front desk said "wow you're just now leavin?"
i'm really high, and this is sooooooooooo important. how many frosties does it take to fill a bathtub?
Dude, this old lady messaged me on Facebook talking about her grandson and wanted to know shit about me. I'd almost call her a cougar except she looks like mashed potatoes that have come alive.
The hot Japanese girl in my class just said her "favorite sexy American actor is Nick Cage." That, I can work with.
and you're not allowed to put a penis in you if it's attached to a 26 year old who works at blockbuster
It felt like getting blasted with a supersoaker filled with vagina juice.
Damn you and your Monday night power hours.
Wet should excavate the hamsters out of the front yard n give them a proper burial.
I had my room mate call my phone after last night and it was in an uncooked quesadilla
She's sent me the same nudes using the same gestures and positions... It's like she has a template for her sluty-ness
Let's just say, I will never again lick an asshole.
I remember turning to Jon after doing a line of coke and saying "I was a Girl Scout"
Relationship goals: we both wore red underwear tonight. Except he won’t know because my bra been off but it’s the thought that counts I guess.
A fire alarm is going off in some building, people are running around naked and people are passed out in the MIDDLE of the sidewalk. If they ban parties again, I'm going to be pissed.
Randomize
