Just looked in the bathroom mirror before getting to this exam to see If I look as bad as I feel & the answer is no. I look amazing, even in yesterday's clothes
I don't think cute and don't forget to get tested belong in the same text
i'm considering texting him with "i'm leaving the country for a year, wanna fuck?"
do it. it's every man's dream.
We must be getting old. All of our friends are having kids and they aren't illegitimate.
The little penguins are speaking with a hispanic accent. I dont know how to feel about it. Geographically speaking, this cant be possibly. This isnt cool.
so,apparently a side effect from having sex on the beach is now i have a tanline shaped like your sister
i hate you
Hypothetical question: If a guy wanted to watch you fuck me, would you be willing to take a long lunch break on Wednesday?
Apparently it is frowned upon to ask the bouncer to stop pointing his flashlight in your face and step back so you can puke....and then do it
Marshall is naming all the elements of my face. I love science nerds.
I basically have sex lined up for me in three different countries. If that's not a feat I don't know what is
I WOKE UP IN A FUCKING DOG BED HOW DO YOU THINK I FEEL
My book, "How to Live With a Huge Penis" was delivered today. Can't wait to read it in public.
So by "wait for me" do you think he meant "Don't have sex with random dentists?"
Conference sex doesn't count if the dentist doesn't know your name.
It's like the cookie assaulted me with being high.
I just realized now that I slept with him while he was still wearing the maid costume... I've reached a new level of sexual freakness.
Randomize
