oh god the rape fog is back!
They made my facebook status "I got my period!!!." Every guy I've had sex with at college liked it.
it's like i can feel the ghost of his dick still inside me
I don't know if it was the room or her, but as soon as the pants came off, it smelt like a locker room and old man farts.
We left the house and she said "let's go dick hunting" theres no way last night was gonna end up well
His IQ is so high, I swear I started ovulating when he told me the number.
No need to call an exterminator, the ants overdosed on the leftover lines on the counter.
Tequila me may have very bluntly told him that I wanted to touch his abs.
Just proved I could salsa dance in a bar where no one was dancing
Sidenote...no idea how to salsa
Either I'm drunk or judge Judy has 3D commercials...so I think I'm drunk. Also I may or may not haven eaten a hoagie on the toilet when I didn't want to stand up
In other news it turns out I like Heineken.. In a desert island kind of way
All I know is that I woke up with my pajamas on inside out in front of a bowl of watered down kd. Sitting up. I didn't even make it to bed.
Just walked into your room to get my clothes and he's still passed out in your bed. Remind me to high five you when you get home
I'm in his bed with no pants on and he's just eating a sloppy joe
This wouldn't be the first time my boss has seen me topless
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