At some point last night I thought pissing in a bottle was an awesome idea when I woke up a little piss was actually in the bottle a lot was on my TV remote
Laziness has reached now heights if you too unmotivated to buy pot
I have a deodorant stick dedicated to my balls.
so I ended up banging her last night
dude I remember her. You sure it was a her?
i don't even remember
My cousin just asked what abortion is. Happy Holidays.
I definitely didn't wake up this morning thinking "i wanna get gang banged today"
She said I walked up to the McDonalds counter and ordered just a cup full of pickles then proceeded to offer some to everyone in the place.
HE THREATENED ME WITH A CACTUS. WHERE DID HE EVEN GET A CACTUS.
todays sighting is titled: Bum taking pictures with an invisible camera.
thank you for extending my knowledge of the effects of vodka. speak of what happened last night and i will kill you and send your fingers to your loved ones.
It's almost like sex was the ice breaker and now we're sociable at the gym
How are you supposed to wish the guy you send nudes to good luck for the first day of his new job??
She always used to joke about becoming a stripper. WHO'S FUNNY NOW?!
Saw a thong on the yellow lines of the street when I left this morning, are they yours by any chance?
Omg I just smoked and it was the end so I basically got resin and death, my throat feels like the twilight vampire description of their thirst for blood
Randomize
