yeah but I shoulda known it\'d be bad when he start rubbing my pubic bone instead of the clit! Awkkkkwarddd
it took everything i had not to yell out "your name means death in german!"
we're chasing vodka with high fives
Question: does he have any sense of self image? He looks slightly like he crawled out of the Euphrates after living as a fish for 20 years
onenightstand. Woke up and saw my nuva ring on the floor. apparently he thought it was a glow stick. pick me up please?
he didnt ask why there was a glowstick shoved up your vag?
I know I'm not learning anything when I can't even spell the name of the class I'm taking
Katy Perry is on a Proactiv commercial. That "I kissed a girl" shit is so much less hot now.
That's cool how's he been?
He got hit in the face with a beer bottle so he has two black eyes and 13 stitches.. He hasnt changed much.
The only way i can get arrested is public drunkenness or defacing a national monument. Trust me, i have already looked it up.
truck drivers should not leave their trucks unlocked with cigarettes inside when we're drunk and walking around.
Serious question...Is it possible to get a DUI on a kayak?
All's fair in love and war. and tinder.
Why can't I come over and snuggle you and make you lick my boots
Sadly my Summer of Cocks is coming to an end
fell asleep while jerking off ln. woke up to my hand in my pants and my cat crawling all over me
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