In retrospect, pretending to punch a 9 year old girl in the face was a terrible analogy to use in a piano lesson.
overheard a conversation between 2 lesbians: 'back when I used to have dick sex...' oh, vegas, I so heart you
I'm still trying to decide if it's a complement when he said "I'd like to subscribe to your daddy issues".
Despite fighting the urge to vomit throughout the whole thing, I think that interview went really well!
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Guess whose mug shot is NOT on the Internet anymore?!?!
Get this. Chipped my front tooth taking a sip of a gay mans beer out of my cleavage. Fuck my fucking life. that'll be fun to explain to my dentist
Apparently william has a "couch montage"...an album of facebook photos of himself on different couches in various states of happiness and despair. A heartwrenching journey through what was clearly a significant part of his life. I'd mock him more but I think the fact that I looked through it means he's already won
LOVE ME LIKE A KANGARO LOVES A POUCH YOU DUMB CUNT
There's a lady here with a big bag of dildos. I'm not sure that's appropriate bar baggage but, I like her style
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Sorry there's no emoticon for I got my period all over a guy's bed so I had to improvise. There isn't even a bed one
I literally told her "she's a sandwich I'd like to make" and that's all it took
He's gonna do me a solid for doing her a solid. It's like pay it foward. But with sex.
I made out with my moms boyfriends son last night. Thanksgiving is gonna be reeeal fun!
He went down on me while I was on the phone with my grandma.
I just apologized to a wet floor sign i walked into.
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