I have a feeling we are going to become cougars together.
im gay
i know
yea but for you.
the crunchwrap supreme is the def leppard of the taco bell menu
which is why it's clearly superior
hickory dickory dock, please dont tell me about your cock
Yeah sketchy neighborhood.. Some woman ran by screaming, "i didn't steal anything" as some cops rolled up and arrested her.
dude uncooked spaghetti noodles dipped in thousand island dressing is better than it sounds
There is a literally infinite number of spliffs going around this table.
Delicious
I feel like I'm at a sushi bar with a spliff belt.
You don't put off sexcapades. Life lesson #1.
Just realized I probably only have one more wedding where I can say I fucked the bride.
There's someone howling in the parking lot. Haha.
You have a penis. Therefore everything you say is automatically wrong.
I have nice boobs. Don't wanna deprive anyone of the experience.
You're a saint.
Sorry I banged your sister. But in my defense you ain't fucked me in a month. In fact I should get a medal for keeping it in your family.
Girl behind me in line at CVS was getting impatient then outta nowhere blew up shouting that if she didn't get her plan B soon she might be a mom and that if we couldn't tell she'd be a horrible mom
After returning from the hospital with lock-jaw from getting tackle at the game. Some naked chick busted out of his room and hit him with a devastating haymaker to the jaw because he wouldn't have sex
Randomize
