he was fingering me to the beat of a lady gaga song. new high? new low? i don know, but i came, so whatever.
I can't wait to get all this Makers out of my shoe.
I have just two goals for this NYE. 1) get so drunk that every guy looks like Clive Owen 2) make out with as many Clive's as possible.
How many bratwuest were you able to fit in your mouth at one time? It's me, Hans.
All I remember is him trying to go down on me, but I guess I was too busy making out with his brother
You put your name in his phone but not your number then screamed "Open the door!" and jumped out of the car
After the Jell-o shots and about 6 shots of lighter fluid brand tequila, it got to the point where breathing was painful. All I could do was pray I didn't fall asleep in the front yard.
Sweating vodka and spray tan, I feel like a trophy wife.
God he's so convenient, drugs, an parties all in one person. He's like the Walmart of delinquency.
Just took a shower for the sole purpose of getting off without using my hands... I've reached a new level of summer-lazy.
Side note: Hot guys are now getting with ugly chicks. Alert the media.
When we were having sex last night, I told him I would replace him with tacos
I do remember that in my dream I wasn't impressed with his dick.
It tasted better than Jesus's hair.
I once went to target high on hydrocodone. I assure you, they can handle unrespectable.
Randomize
