I fucked **** last night, don't tell mike
this is mike. we're done.
Ugh I just know that when I take off his pants his underwear will have Megan's Law written all over them.
Update: no underwear. Greeeeen light.
You're the end to all my bad dreams.
Did you have that reoccuring dream about me banging your mom again?
i was just texting to let you know that my facebook chat is working again so you can talk to me more. please talk to me more.
I don't think blacking out in class is a good idea. But I'm game
hes like my own personal sex toy i use him on the weekends and then i have the option to put him away all week
I should start handing out wavers before I have sex with someone. 1. Do you have anything to do tomorrow? 2. Are you ok with sleeping 12 hours from exhaustion. 3. Are you ok with a limp?
Oh Brad. Your poor brain, always being ignored for your penis and crazy women.
That was obviously his first time talking dirty. He called my vagina "pretty"
Did you hear about Miss Teen Delaware? From the snippet they played on the radio, I knew exactly what porn company it was from. Maybe I should cut back
We were in the middle of fucking and she was just like "Do ya wanna play Harry Potter Scene It?" I musta been really bad lol Anyways, her tattoo healed nicely.
Hooking up with him was lovely.. but waking up in his bed the next morning and finding double stuffed oreos... I mean.... I won
I think I caught your cold through my vagina. It was worth it.
I want to be tan and drunk. Is that too much to ask for?
OMG OMG OMG Ive hit the penis jackpot
It seriously took everything in my power not to sleep with him
What did it come out and serenade you? Lol
It sang to me in the dark. It was magical
Randomize
