I would say the hottest chick there looked like Susan Boyle and the ugliest like Bea Arthur
Nice use of current day folklore
Xanax induced break ups are the best. Since I'm a professional fiancee, I'm going to break up with them on Xanax from now on. It didn't hurt one tiiiiiny bit.
he puked in my glove box, looked up at me and said "There's not much to say"
there are teeth marks in the soap. why are there teeth marks in the soap.
Why do you have to go to the hospital?
I gotta apologize to a male nurse who's tryin to press assault charges on me
He's the kind you'd bring home and you'd wake up and all your food would be half eaten on the kitchen floor and all your socks would be missing.
in my defense, he kept drinking all of my water.
he had diabetes and you told him to stop being a pansy!
I'm in the sex attic, crying, eating french toast and taco
Post a pic on facebook and see if those same 46 girls find shitting in the bed handsome and adorable
Which outfit says "I'm sorry for your loss but we're still banging later"?
Bud... Did you mean to tweet a picture of your dick? If not just letting you know.
I need a fuck buddy with more available hours
I woke up with the gnarliest cold/hangover combo
Thats what u get when u have butt ass naked rooftop sex at night in december
Worth it.
The minute he showed me his Mumford and sons tattoo is the minute i could literally feel my pussy dry up
I’m going to have to rewatch all of them. Drugs, man.
Randomize
