please quote me on this- the only thing worse than being ugly is being ugly and thinking that you're pretty
Holy fuck. She looks like Vin Diesel's stuntman
i was told that i was found face down in a plate of ketchup at the dinner table
Should I tell her she gave me head in the kitchen while I was eating a cupcake or would that hurt her dignity too much?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just had some guy offer to eat me out on my lunch break... I think single life is getting better everyday
Put you drinking hat aside for Tuesday. My buddy is bartending!
I just puked in my drinking hat.
the guy sitting next to me at the bar has a patrick swayze tattoo hovering over a roast beef sandwich. 'merica.
He broke into my house just to tell me the door was locked.
I'm glad that even though we are states apart our whorish hearts beat as one
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You're about to makeout with my vagina, I don't think she cares that you haven't brushed your teeth. Just get over here!
while i am personally glad that we met...i feel like for society as a whole it was a bad thing
$1 drinks and Playboy theme. I am never leaving this place
I need you to perform a face transplant. Please remove your face from your accounting book and relocate it to where it's most needed - between my legs.
Explain why there's a meatball in my bong
But we have bathrooms and they dont
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