If it wasnt for my iphone and loopt, I would still be wandering the streets in a drunken stooper. Thanks Steve Jobs.
I just did the scooter of shame. New levels of embarrassment have now opened.
I didn't join FB to see my only child straddle that boy in all her pictures.
I just spilled my beer all over my laptop.. this is what i get for actually trying to do homework
did i by any chance text you anything about feathers last night?
you mean faeutihaers?
There are topless girls riding the lawn flamingos. I win.
Plus you know he's just 2 semesters and 4 glasses of wine away from "experimenting" with some French major
It's "your husband had his mouth on my vagina" awkward.
What should we drink tonight, I'm in the mood to be judged
He just asked me if he's allowed to flirt with me. That's how whipped he is.
Well when you get back to your computer, there's a nice explanation of pansexuality on your Skype.
I would not be watching the debate if there wasn't drinking involved. Let's be honest.
What are your thoughts toward getting nasty in a minivan?
Just cried because I'm out of oreos. This post-molly depression can go fuck itself.
Oh, and Harry Potter. We could be fuck-and-Harry-Potter buddies.
Randomize
