If a girl drunk dials you she's at least entertained the idea of sleeping w/ you correct?
YES
Not hooking up w him- he has one of those L.L. Bean book bags w his initials on it
You might not want to sit on your couch. Actually you may want to throw it away. My bad.
I guess you don't remember pouring tequila in the dog bowl and slurping it.
I wish you would always start your sentences with "speaking of my clit..."
eat the baked goods on the counter at your own risk... i made them while i was angry and drunk so they most likely have pubes in them
I'm sorry for biting your husband's ass last night.
I always congratulate people on their vaginal emancipation.
Look, the fact that I didn't kick him out and rip your clothes off speaks very highly of me.
Tequila is gods way of telling you don't fuck with tequila
It is clearly not my fault that you decided studying was more important than trying to bang our hot teacher for an A, so I seized the opportunity.
So this is what it's like to wake up with someone else's blood in your nose...
Can't be considered a walk of shame if you pick up donuts on the way home
don't worry, i'll dog sit again, the barking made the sex better, its like he was cheering for us, we were just THAT good.
I just wanna go home jackoff, eat chicken fingers, drink beer, play halo and go to bed. I'm sick of this shitty school, the shitty kids and having to fucking teach them.
Randomize
