i know they say sex burns calories but i think i actually gained weight from just lying there for the whole 2 minutes
well i was about to unbutton his pants but then i realized they had an elastic waste-band, so no, that didnt happen
vegan vag taste different. and not a good different
A guy in a sombrero stopped to take a picture with me sitting on the curb.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You can buy vodka at target here.. Maybe Missouri isn't so bad after all
pretty sure that drunk girl we saw climbing the stairs is now DJing this club....
if you didn' use the plastic sword on the cop. maybe this wouldn't have happened.
This chic sharing the cab with me just started givin me head. I'll be an extra 5 minutes.
i told him I'd let him eat part of a weed cookie out of my cleavage, so he pulled over like a gentleman.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Before you started puking your brains out, you took a moment to give me the correct order of the Harry potter series
At dinner her sister yelled "he fucked me AND mom!! Up your standards hoe!!" Safe to say I ruined that family
Firstly: alligator costume is happening anyway. But I'll see what I can do about the balls.
We almost drove away from the bar with a British stranger in our trunk...
First time a guy goes down on me and his dog had its head on my knee the whole time. I swear it was judging me.
I think I came out of my blackout as I was ordering wine from the private wedding reception.
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