he quoted cool runnings while we were having sex: feel the rythm,feel the rhyme, get on up, its bobsled time
Girl in front of me has spent the class alternating between playing farmville and the tiffany's website looking at engagement rings. Every once in a while she holds her hand up to the screen.
She doesn't deserve the breathe the same air that we do.
She just bought a cow and we've moved on to looking at wedding dresses.
I've been watching too much manswers. Cuz i know scissoring doesn't work on a motorcycle.
The only thing better than Call of Duty is getting jerked off while playing Call of Duty.
I'm not going to need your "it doesn't mean you're a slut" pep talk after all.
I was carrying him baywatch style into my place because he passed out.
I'm not sure what happened. But I must have won because I obviously stole two full pitchers of beer from the bar and taped a note on them saying "your welcome"
My bruised ribs were so worth that win in beer pong
When I blacked in, I was crying to my father at the swim-up bar that "I was going to win an Oscar." how do you THINK Mexico was?
I just recognized Courtney in a crowded Trader Joe's solely by seeing her ass. In other news, I survived the first round of layoffs today.
I'm not sure which feat is more impressive...
hey your mom heard me say to her " That right your not going to Shit right for a month"
I sense lesbianism
That's a weird power
You got banned for life from a $30 a night motel. What are you doing with your life?
he's like crack. I can't be in the same room with him while drunk and not do him.
just drove past - why are you walking towards the shop in your pyjamas?
Can't talk, on a quest for bacon.
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