my sister and i are watching a movie and pregaming together. and by pregaming i mean shes not drinking since she 14 and im drinking alone.
I didn't mind getting the stomach flu from him. we had great sex AND I'm seven pounds lighter
Baffled as to how I'm gonna get 150lbs of sand out of my basement.
thats the coolest thing thats happened to my vagina since i dated that guy from portugal.
I found bruises on my neck from barfing out the window.
all i wanna do is drink skittled vodka, fuck my gf, and pass out in my neighbors hot tub naked
I'm about to do the walk of shame in a christmas onesie. What would I do without christmas sweater party season?
She's gone now. Left with the wind like a majestic leaf that just rides the invisible current to locations unknown. And dude, her friends were really hot.
You never know, some chick could have a weird unibrow fetish.
his finger was half off and he was more concerned that he wasnt at home shooting cucumbers out of his potato gun.
If I die tonight, I want you to have the rest of my nachos. And my porn collection.
I smoked out of two pipes at the same time while my friends wielded the lighters last night. It felt like I graduated to the next level of stoner.
His dick is magical but I don't want to die in this blizzard do you see my dilemma
I ACCIDENTALLY SUPER LIKED HIM. I JUST DELETED TINDER FROM MY PHONE.
I had to explain to the doctor why I'm peeing blood. He still didn't believe a girl would have that much sex... You could feel the judgement forming in the room when I went into the details...
Damn, well a girls gotta get laid too
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