Tell him ill love him long time
I'll assure him of it
Its about time the women of america have a president they can masturbate to again
I am more sore today than I was after my car wreck. Take it as a compliment that you bang harder than a semi-truck.
So apparently after he gets hammered, falls down a set of stairs and gets a concussion, he can still come home and find a way to play his guitar solo bullshit as loud as possible while i seduce my date...
He's only a little bit crosseyed.
I think this is one situation where "a little bit" doesn't mean much.
He seems to have a lot of things figured out and most of the answers involve bourbon
You got her pregnant one week before your vasectomy? You couldn't wait one week to cheat on me?
Thank you for FINALLY joining the Slutasorus Rex club in this conversation.
My synapses wont fire in a pattern that will process those facts
No fair. I need a fuck buddy to entertain me till the power comes back on
It makes me feel all patriotic & free... And borderline diabetic.
I might be drinking a 4-day old opened beer on a Wednesday. You're in no position to judge me.
It would have only made it one day at my place.
He updated Facebook... "Got a new phone today." WHAT ABOUT THE FUCKING KID YOU HAD?!
So I figured it out. There's two types of shitters. Moaners and grunters. And on occasion there's a third. It's the ill fabled grunt moaner.
You’re not his type
I’ve got blonde hair and great tits. I’m every man’s type
Randomize
