I tried to go shot for shot with some guy called "shit show martinez"
I've banged too many servicemen's wives to still be considered an American.
we are torturing ourselves with these mediocre cocks
I tried to get you a girl. They want us to cook breakfast though
Lolll I'll be sleeping
I'm practically buying you a 1 way ticket to pound town.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I woke up in the ER. This living like theres no tomorrow really could mean theres no tomorrow.
You know, I've never slept in a rug with anyone before you
so hungover. i just puked at the sight of the beer emoticon you sent me.
He did leave his bud tall boy and 2 choco tacos, so not a total loss.
If one of us has to be polite I guess I won't sneak out while he's in the shower
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Found the cure to anxiety attacks.
An orgasm
There's a set of buzz lightyear wings in lost and found at work. I just need access to your roof.
In the event that Ian's ex wife asks you, tell her I'm sweet snd innocent. No reason.
Threesomes are not as fun as you'd think. I left with a black eye and I'm not sure who's to blame.
he's smothering me... and not in the good, can you move your thigh off my face please?.. way
I'm going to blackout. I realize this
Randomize