On this egg donor form, it asks "In the past 5 years, have you had sex for drugs or money?" It only gives a yes or no option and no place to explain myself. What do I do?
anyone who has a picture of a ferrari with the caption "mAh DreAM caR" is getting denied as my facebook friend.
Halloween 2010: the NuvaRing girls. You're Thursday. We'll walk into the party chanting "Monday, Tuesday, Wednesday, Thursday, Friday, Saturday, Sunday, Everydaaay".
You probably havent been upstairs if you think that the microwave missing its door is bad
she sucked my dick to get the taste of the last guy's out. I need to find a new friend with benefits.
Another one? Damn, how many David's is that?
six.
Oh, I thought it was higher.
No, that would be the Matt's
Cognac is not meant to be taken in shots. I just wanted you to know the desperation of last night.
I elbow dropped a bag of ice to break it so we could make margaritas. I bled everywhere. Be proud.
U know that drunk state, where at 930 the next morning your sitting in a bath in ur bathing suit trying to sober up...yeah. That's where i am..
I wish drunk me wasn't so into manscaping. Or at least good at it. Either or really
On Friday, can we drink like its Civil Wars times and the doctor's coming to saw off our gangreen infected legs?
I feel like I should acknowledge that I see you as a human and not a ragdoll sex object
I was sitting down, taking a piss with a boner, her cat walked into the bathroom and walked up to my legs, I sneezed and pissed all over her cat through between the toilet seat and bowl, it ran off screeching. She thought I peed on her cat on purpose. Kicked me out
I am in the parking lot of CVS in Auburn. I think a truck full of Plan B and regret just arrived.
i solemnly vow to never stick my penis into crazy again
I give it a week.
Randomize
