Someone sharpied 'shit show' on my tits. Someone with excellent penmanship
You know you are bi when you flip between the NFL Network and LOGO.
I get credit on the assist, you can thank me by taking a pic of her ass under the covers and sending it to me. It would make my YEAR
A DRUNK EMT IS BETTER THAN NO EMT!!!
I think I ate my cheesy fiesta potatoes cup.
You won't wear your Santa suit, I can't get trashed, and you won't use handcuffs! This is the worst Christmas EVER.
No man. Everyone needs to shit off a roof, at least once.
Kyle found me outside his apartment in the hallway. Said he didn't hear me knock bt smelled alcohol through the door. I'm sucha bitch to my liver
Do you think kicking my coke habit is a good personal goal to put down on the evaluation form?
We're not piercing ourselves today.
Oh by "being festive" I mean make tacos for dinner.
Pregnancy has ruined porn for me. I can't watch a hot chick get it on without being jealous of her perfectly waxed shit. I can't even see my shit.
Yeah it got awkward when the two guys we were playing beer pong against realized that I'd hooked up with both of them. Their teamwork declined after that.
If we're going to communicate going forward, you'll need to be versed in Gillian Anderson.
He’s really fucking cute. Like, I want his penis in my mouth cute.
Randomize
