And then I watched some old guy get arrested for meeting some other old guy for a blow job. It was epic.
she insisted that i refer to her boobs by name.
we boned then he told me that he had a thing for my gay roommate. worst night ever
martini and pecan pie.. breakfast of champions.
you grabbed his arm with one hand and the bottle of smirnoff with the other and headed off to your room you were on a mission
She tried to cook Velveeta IN the oven on clean mode.
I forgot my id and a man called soup is buying me vodka.
That's what I'm here for. To bitch slap you into believing in yourself.
We are smoking a hash blunt ... Bring your emergency inhaler
By the way, I'm pretty sure your husband is publicly advocating more BJs for my husband, via Facebook.
Only he would come to a strip club and talk about an internship with Walt Disney during a lap dance.
He just didn't want his drunk dick pulled out of his windbreaker at the family party
The guy I hooked up with last night left me alone with his dog AND IT JUST SHIT ON THE FLOOR. WHAT DO I DO
I came back from England with a face tattoo and the only thing anyone can talk about is my beard.
Need advice bro. Which one should I take: the blonde devil crying in the corner or the brunette crawling on the floor acting like a dinosaur??
Randomize
