you ate skittles off the table like a hungry hungry hippo. it was awesome.
she said they gang banged her to "who let the dogs out." the dude left of the middle barked along. sounds like a good time.
remember the used condom we threw behind my bed? my mom found it and is accusing me and making a big deal out of it,
Haha! You pissed me off, so I actually told her to go look behind your bed. Good thing I moved to Nevada, so your dad can't kick my ass. Good luck bitch.
I think I found an E pill under the couch.. Or really bad tasting candy. Check back in 30min this could get exciting
Can you give me a hickey quick? Im going to a white trash themed party. Completely serious
Oh btw, that was a wonderful blow job. You did a good job.
It's sad that your definition of adulthood entails banging your boss after getting hammered at happy hour, and putting the tab on the company credit card.
You almost set me on fire last night.
You probably deserved it.
Only the gays. Guy gives me a handjob in the steam, then changes next to me under his towel
Only the gays
yolo... Doesn't that stand for 'shut the fuck up'?
I don't know whether to call the hospital or call the prison first.
I told her the party couldn't handle my playlist LAZERBAWLS and I was right. Cops in the basement, orgy in the kitchen, jousting in the living room.
It's 3 in the morning and there is a bird chirping it's head off outside. GOD DAMNIT THIS IS NOT A TIME TO SING OF YOUR CHEERFUL BIRD MERRIMENT YOU STUPID BIRD CUNT!
He just said his penis sings like Mariah Carey...Im going with drunken.
It's Scottsdale, it shouldn't be this hard to find drugs.
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