break up sex still means we will always be broken up.
doesn't he have a GF?
that just means you have to try harder.
i didn't have to try TOO hard, just told him i didn't want to know his name or...
I can't make any promises. I've tried my best to stay celibate. But if a guys on top of me, Im gonna tell him to stick it in.
I really wish i had a penis so i could dick slap that bitch right now
All I seem to do lately is get myself off, take naked pictures and drink beer. I don't know if thats a good or bad thing.
Just took my morning after pill in the library
I don't care what he thinks. My vagina has an open door policy.
You peed in my camelbak and said it was a reverse catheter. Not cool.
You do realize that we got a stripper to do the YMCA for us on the main stage... Right?
I just want to know what horrible accidents of evolution allowed that tiny penis to exist
He was dressed as a cowboy and he was dancing with my ex roommate. So I took his gun and pistol whipped him with it..then somehow we still slept together..
tinder day one and i already had more guys message me about "the girl with the big tits in my second picture" than about me. MY 17 YEAR OLD SISTER CAN GET LAID WITHOUT EVEN HAVING TO MAKING A PROFILE
to be fair she does have a great rack
He's a snuggler. Every time I attempt to make a move to find my bra he reigns me in. Needless to say i could be here a while.
I’m drunk and naked and looking for my charger - title of my autobiography.
I woke up this morning to pee and six dollar bills fell out of my underwear. I guess that lap dance just bought me lunch.
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