so i completely puked my brains out. a lot. he held me up so i could brush my teeth. then we proceeded to hook up for the next four hours.
he's a keeper
maybe tonight we can turn coloring into a drinking game
so let's talk penis.
yah i'm on my way- is everything ok?
i'm holding a walmart bag of my own hot vomit that i closed up with some random chicks hair tie. we r pretty fucking far from ok
Iranian Rapper, camaroonian basketball player, mexican i forget and indian doctor....this one looks the best on paper.
Nothing like a $37 iTunes bill. Jesus Christ do you know how many $2 beer/shot specials that is??? The answer is 16. 16 beer/shot specials.
It's a good cause. For your vagina.
your life is going to be an empowering working mom montage tomorrow to Katy P's ROAR... --are you living in a yoplaít comercial?
He says I vaguely mumbled happy New year, kissed him, threw up and then went back to sleep.
Yeah bunch of crazy shit... Makes you wonder how anyone found someone before tinder
I did my patriotic duty. I woke up next to a veteran this morning.
I just smoked weed with my physics professor. Tell me how my life is this.
Do you think you could cook pancakes while i blow you?
You faceplanted on the railroad tracks and when I tried to tell you to get up, you told me you were "taking a quick breather"
He's a security blanket. A security blanket who FUCKS.
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