The only coherent words in the 6 texts i recieved were don't, cute, fucking, beer, and lions
I thought about farting is his face when he was going down on me last nite.
I think I left my camera at your house. It would be in both of our best interests if you don't go through the pics.
it's just one of those nights where i don't care if anyone sees my vagina
Are you considering all the consequences of doing your boss or are you just rationalizing with your vagina?
I just smoked weed out of a baked potato.
You rock my world.
His penis looked like how I would imagine Satan's pinky finger.
As we have told you before, the first rule of hook-up bingo is we don't talk about hook-up bingo
My boobs are literally freaking out because I've been wearing a bra for more than three hours....I need to go out more...
My concern for you and peanut butter is the reason I am still awake.
We have angered the beer gods. It feels like I'm shitting angry cats.
who gets drunk at chipotle by noon and then gets kicked out? this chick.
when i woke up with rugburns on the tops of my feet, knees, and chin i was a little confused. and then i remembered i had sex with him in his friends walk in closet.
On a scale of 1 to 10, with 1 being “good” and 10 being “banging a student’s father”, how bad is it that I’m banging a student’s father?
I want to get drunk and watch somebody else's tragedy.
Randomize
