And i quote: "where's y'alls from comin' in with them accents?" - from a mississipi mcdonalds
Who's your beautiful friend? Please include the words "Straight", "Single", and "Legal" in your response.
just woke up and this girl had my cellphone nestled in the front of her thong. i kept thinking "is this a trap?"
He bought me flowers. The card with it said: Sorry I cant get you off. I will try harder.
On that note; HAPPY 21: THE SEQUEL from the back of an ambulance!!
It's a special occasion. Hence the 151.
When I left you, you were walking into a room with a half naked girl. When I returned 2 minutes later, you were locked out of the room naked and she was screaming obscenities from inside. How do you manage to make every girl hat you?
You realize your sleeping pills are working when you pick up your iPhone and almost bite it because you thought it was a graham cracker
Soo I woke up in the storage room at best western....I dont even know what say
I think it's time for a new pick up line. So far my " hey you want to go back to my place, order a pizza and fuck?" Has set me at an all time low downtown 0/4
That's the ultimate walk-of-shame: running away from your own apartment and hiding in a McDonald's.
Only ESPN could find the two ugly girls from a school in Florida
Tell him you want to lick his face. Didn't work for me but might turn out better for you idk
In other news, I tore a tendon in my hand from giving my boyfriend handjobs so that's how my day is going
Slammed 3 beers and just bowled a 129\nI guess alcohol IS the answer
Randomize
