I just saw the pics of me from the costume party as Party Boy. I've effectively cock-blocked myself forever.
Let's just go topless and paint glitter over our nipples who the fuck cares
You have all of her herpes and none of my sympathy
"Shots" of grape juice. I fucking hate Utah soooo fucking much.
All you need to do now is invest in a Speedo and start going door to door.
I watched her follow him out of the bar, chase him around the corner and literally throat punch him. It was awesome.
Just got to her place. Her parents are here and are high as a kite.
Her father just game me a high 5 as they left the room. Her mom leaned in and said "this is a rebound thing"
Sometimes turtles just really trip me out man
Please don't tell me that blonde guys name is Matthew I won't be able to fuck a guy with my brothers name
And some neighbor just saw me naked and hunched over a bag of potato chips stuffing my face. Maybe clothes aren't a bad idea.
I'm bonding with your girlfriend. I like her. We're plotting your demise.
She was on top, but I lost her at "alright, you look like predator."
Woke up with a pineapple again... where do i keep on getting these ??
Left my house last night with a girlfriend, $200 in my wallet, and 10 finger nails. Came home with no girlfriend, an empty wallet, and 9 1/2 finger nails.
Yea, I had a bad night too aha
I think I broke my dick but 10/10 would definitely do it again.
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