I still think their baby is ugly. I also still think it's yours.
gotta love it when a reminder comes up on your phone and u think u forgot about a meeting or something then u read it and its only to remind me to go to the titty bar at 3
I have a new fascination with cutting really small segments of hair off peoples heads when they're not looking.
I love my penis, it thinks for me sometimes
I just had sex in a moon bounce. It is all down hill from here.
After we hooked up, he left the room and no one has seen him since last night. That kid redefined hit it and quit it.
it was pretty much a given that i would lose my thong on dollar tequilla shot night
I have just figured that it takes exactly 2 and a half rums to clean the bathroom..
I gave up on alcohol forever for like 2 hours, that's got to be a new record
KEG. KEG. THE OPERA HAS A KEG. KEG STAND IN A TUX. AFTER PARTY RAVE AND KEG STANDS.
Looking back on this weekend, I'm most grateful I never brought up with word "toe-fucking" at the bachelorette party.
He got naked after doing the Ice Water Challenge and it was still enormous. So, yeah, I stayed over.
Wet should excavate the hamsters out of the front yard n give them a proper burial.
I think I'm still high. And I definitely still smell like lobster, so there's that
I spent two entire hours explaining to a guy why I wouldn't make out with him. How was your night?
Randomize
