WTF YOU HAVE A GIRLFRIEND?
Oh yeah that.
How does, "Im sorry I was such an intoxicated bitch, I didn't mean anything I said" sound as an apology.
I just blindly shoved it in. I'm still not sure which hole I got.
i wrote down the address for planned parenthood on the back of the receipt for the condom that broke
Land Before Time marathon. we drink every time littlefoot almost eats a treestar.
Please say a prayer for the elevator people at work today. My farts are significantly more potent the day after hitting that korean place for lunch...
Well, somebody (me) put on reindeer antlers, crawled around on the floor, and meowed at people... So yeah, I'd say it was "one of those nights"
I'm going through a really dark time right now
I don't want to hear it man. I just jerked it to a pic of my ex wife in a bikini. Buck up
Just got high and apologized to my vagina for getting chlamydia
I've had pants off for 3 hours now. America.
I forgot to respond before, I was apologizing for confusing sex with secret Santa.
I just want to feed you taquitos and play with your boner and live happily ever after
Yep, you're going to hell.
I take on this great possibility with a beer in one hand and the girl I'm gonna fuck later in the other
Oh and sorry for almost killing all of us last night... twice...
Okay so as of now, we may either be coming for one night, two nights, or not at all this weekend. It depends on Laura's toe and if I get my period. Will explain later
Randomize
