I miss him.. What the hell did I get myself in to? I guess it will get better with time.
No. Just liquor. Time's no good.
Tostitos scoops are the best shotglasses ever. Eat it after as a chaser.
ok watching intervention on tv. when i hit rock bottom - i wanna be THIS chick.
When i look at that picture of him, i'm a little proud to be like yeah, his dick was in my mouth saturday no big deal.
On ecstasy, in Ikea. this is incredible.
Were gonna hotbox in the trunk. I think there's room for another half of a person if you're interested
Going to rent a magician for when I eat shrooms. How has no one thought of this?
I just yelled at a bunch of girl scouts for yelling "cookies" to loudly. That hungover
So would it be tacky to offer my services as a future attorney as an engagement gift for her?
I've officially done it all, fucked a girl wearing a twister board. ABC parties are amazing!
He referred to our sex as being similar to "Two cheetahs cage fighting" and I have to agree.
I never want to do this again, I'm going to chew off several fingers and apply for disability
I took it upon myself to take one shot of tequila to have an excuse for hitting on my not-single coworker. It worked.
And you hate the library
Yea but I love drugs and my grades
You told me that you couldn't come over because you felt like you were gonna die and that houses eat you when you die, and my house couldn't eat you because your house would be jealous. That's when I knew to take the bowl away from you.
Randomize
