If you're on a tempurpedic mattress do you think you can feel if someone is jacking off right next to you?
we had a 10 minute conversation with his family about how I don't let him eat me out. I want to go home
my step dad just called me a drunken slut..someone in my family finally understands me
Well then I realized I had a bigger problem when I woke up a long board.
I cannot for the life of me remember why I am holding this rabbit.
i think i figured out where our problem might have started...when we poured more tequila on top of out margaritas to melt the ice bc they were too cold
hahaha or putting rum in the bbq sauce?
its likemy ribs anf my hesrt aew cuddlingn
Are you available to help carry me into the house Monday?
you goin out tonight?
who is this.
your orgasm for tonight
Chasing shots with sriracha-covered mini toast was, in retrospect, not the best idea.
She spilled some tequila on her hair somehow and I guess I felt bad for her, so I yelled "ROOMIES FOR LIFE" and dipped my hair in my tequila.
This summer isn't about fun. We have to train our livers to survive the next four years.
Honestly cannot tell if I’m magical or really, really high.
The FEDEX guy just cock blocked me by getting his van stuck in my driveway
I think he was trying to be romantic, but the candle he had lit was the kind you use to repel mosquitoes..
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