I just showed my tits to my brother on chatroulette. Could my life get any worse?
My own mom unfriended me on Facebook.
I want a picture of impoverished children wearing Oregon national champions shirts.
Yes, I feel sorry for the tribe that gets those. They won't be able to hide from the lions.
Hes flirting with her via the sauce packets at taco bell....... I have no words
Does the blue bra belong to your sister or cousin?
you called me in the middle of the night, wandering the streets, in search of "the ultimate burrito"
I think its safe to assume that the 40yr old undergraduate with purple and pink in her hair and a tattoo of the eiffel tower above her ass crack has never actually been to Paris...
But I was triple fisting doubles, that's bound to be a good time. Might have a broken collarbone though.
We didn't talk. I watched you drop an egg on the floor. And watched you praise your haunted broom.
I told him he deserved someone better...then I told him he looked very fuck-able wearing nothing but sweat pants. We'll break up in the morning.
He said I kept trying to give him directions back to my house in Rhode Island, and that I started crying when he told me I live in Phoenix.
Any chance I can buy my dignity back with $45?
The last thing I remember is singing hotel California with a hobo and asking every bald man I saw if I could touch his head.
Nice. I like it when Maker's Mark makes decisions for you.
Stop trying to mix nacho cheese and sex. Guys don’t want hot cheese near their junk. Pick a better fetish
Randomize
