So, just so you know... Your vasectomy worked.
bonus
I just saw a girl walk by me wearing a "kiss me I'm pro choice" shirt. Is that a signal for easy access?
I got laid because I told her I play guitar. I haven't played in 7 years and only know a G chord. I love this place.
my phone calendar just alerted me that it's "weed time" in 15 minutes. do not remember setting that alert last night...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It's hard to believe so much cum came out of such a small penis.
so I'm coping with getting the "I'm not over my ex" bomb dropped on me by getting drunk and yelling at people while wearing a purple princess hat
They knew I had a party because the refrigerator settings were different, but they don't notice that we installed a new toilet seat so it's okay.
Here's the thing, you got road head in two different cars tonight. You feel lucky yet?
He sent me a recycled dick pic! He could at least use one without sunlight in it, considering it's 10pm
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
And then I fed you egg rolls in bed as you were screaming I'm moving out
He Dutch ovened me while I was hiding under the covers from his mom. Needless to say it did not end well.
well I didn't shave for the hot dilf I banged last week so I'm sure as hell not shaving for you. Sry
We'll get you some ice cream, but no sprinkles. Sprinkles are for winners.
The dentist walked in on me trying to bottle some laughing gas to take home with me. That high.
I can't be sure but I think I slept with a clown last night...
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