I ahte it when I peed a little on my shews. I got a litll bit on the automen in your room too.:/
Tracy!! I don't have an ottoman in my room.
Ohhh....do you have a dog shaped liek un automan?
Everything went well, until I walked into his bedroom and there was a Ronald Reagan poster watching over his bed - creepy
My 11 year old cousin is wearing a Jane Austen fan club t shirt. I'm trying not to tear into her, but I'm five coronas deep and losing control.
I get off at the next exit which doesn't have a shoulder, a guy is riding my ass so I cant stop. I think I got as much puke on his car as on mine.
Yes, you can 69 in a fiat. But I think I have permanent nerve damage
She has a boyfriend. But if he's a decent human being he understands blowjobs don't count as cheating with her. Keeping those miracles to himself is a crime against humanity.
Dude he was a used car salesman for his friends' penises. I know I have something here that's right for you!
i had a threesome. one of the guys used to bully me in high school too for being gay.
My life is like a drunken tornado. All over the place and never passing up fat girls
How are you going to come here and fuck on our couch ? That's everyones couch
Nothing screams fatass like a pizza that doesn't fit in your car
let’s be honest I’d fucking Irish step dance on your grave, asshole
Hey, sorry for threatening to teabag your mom to death last night
Thought for a game. Duck, Duck, Grey Goose. If you're tapped, you take a shot. Then proceed as normal.
Dude. $3 Jack n Cokes AND Cheesesticks... Find me tomorrow plz
Randomize
