even the sluttiest version of myself will not go down on him
you know what sucks? talking to chicks you dont want to have sex with
If we're like this now and women reach their sexual peak in their 30's, I can't even fathom what our futures hold.
Iranian Rapper, camaroonian basketball player, mexican i forget and indian doctor....this one looks the best on paper.
This was my thought process as I drunkenly ran home: Whoa! I'm going so FAST! Why don't I run EVERYWHERE! ALL THE TIME! Then I peed in a bush and passed out on the ground.
So basically you were a dog.
Hahaahaah I keep finding little notes you left me on my physics notes... "TOO HIGH FOR BIRDS"
So would it be tacky to offer my services as a future attorney as an engagement gift for her?
Ew. After that you just pretty much proved that your vagina is the reason why my vagina needs two toilet seat covers when peeing in public restrooms
You've fucked so many I should get a word bank when you make me guess these things.
Why the fuck is he under my phone as Papi Chulo?
I always thought The Big Bang Theory wasa terrible show but that was before it came with blowjobs and pizza.
I can't figure out how to eat twizzlers and I have to be at a wedding reception in an hour.
Please never have kids.
Seriously, it's 5am. STOP CREEPIN and START SLEEPIN!
Did you leave a mouse under my pillow again?
I can't believe I got dumped for a fat chick, but at least I got four and a half years worth of free shit. So we can call it even.
Randomize
