: I need to find myself a plastic surgeon husband so i can get boobs.
but u need boobs to get one in the first place.
3.50 mugs at the bar.
Nah man, im with an ugly chick. Im waiting til everyone's drunk enough tonight, they don't notice.
How ugly, and does she have friends?
Ummmm the art teacher neighbor asked me to pose nude for her art class for cash.
Can I use cash for clunkers to trade in her boobs for a new set of 18 year old tits?
Its worth a shot.
Just found out I have to work new year's eve. It's like one final 'fuck you' from 2009.
I am NOT getting arrested in a wig.
Partial kegs from last night are currently in my bathtub, which leads me to 2 questions: 1. What are you doing tonight? 2. Can I use your shower?
you are dancing on the line between undergrad and alcoholic.
I think I might be harboring a Canadian in my womb.
Now I'm ashamed that I wore a bra
You also proposed and then tried to jack me off
YOU TRIED TO SWIM IN HER FISHTANK. I don't think she's going to call you.
How do I tell my hairdresser I want a hair style I saw in a porn video?
he would snap chat his dick as like Harry Potter
Is it too early to start looking for freshmen penises to corrupt with our liquor and yoga pants?
I was just wondering the same thing! Gotta be any day now
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