Just mADE A PArabola og urine
Just saw a white stretch Hummer limo outside of CiCi's pizza. Way to live up to the stereotypes, Alabama.
im so glad i don't have to work tomorrow. I'm spendin all night on the new call of duty.
Wow. That's the gayest thing you ever said.
Look man i'm staying in playing videogames and growing a beard. Its not like i'm trying to get a girlfriend.
you didnt remember my name all night. you kept referring to me as "the blonde with the fat ass"
Hookers taste better with whip cream
Maybe we ought to get some pennicillin too
Fair enough
it took me 2 minutes to realize that it wasn't HER hand on my penis. First, and worst threesome ever..
Actions speak louder than pants.
It was some time between the gurgles of her blowing me to us throwing up in the same bucket afterwards that I realized we would be doing this a lot.
This is ridiculous. It's like playing possible STD Clue, and I don't want to be the winner.
Should I tell her she gave me head in the kitchen while I was eating a cupcake or would that hurt her dignity too much?
Is this one of those "if you didnt give such good head we couldn't be friends" moments?
I doubt she'll sponsor it. You know alcohol and fireworks don't mix, right?
It's okay. We're not going to soak the fireworks in alcohol. The alcohol is for drinking.
We need to get stoned and watch Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles 2. This has become a priority. Schedule accordingly.
The horniest man in the world doesn't want sex as bad as I want pizza right now.
He’s exactly what I’m looking for: he’s got a broken heart, a working penis and a new boat!!!
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