I will be home in 10 min. Dont be beating off on the couch
enter at your own risk
dude, never let a drunk girl playbite your dick. the doctor came in laughed and left.
I can hear the condescending tone from the atm when it asks if $3 is all I would like to deposit
Theres a fat guy wearing a speedo. Someone just got puked on, and didnt even react. Whats happening?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Hhahaha he is. Omg the new polish friend just took his pants off in front of me. There is something wrong with this nationality.
Boxed wine mondays was one of our finer ideas
Just found an "inspected with pride" sticker on or around my vagina
I'm drinking wine from the cap of my laundry detergent container, wearing my bed sheet as a cape. How do you think I'm taking it?
You woke me up at 2 am to tell me I could pee in a golf club if I wanted to.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
just shotgunning some tallboys in the cooler, you?
HOW DO YOU GET RAISES EVERY TWO WEEKS?!
Thursday could be nutella day. You could make me a nutella sandwich and then fuck me senseless
I'd marry him just to keep his penis in the country
I just got back like 5 minutes ago, I have two champagne bottles that I carried with me on the train home and a Dunkin donuts coffee cup full of stolen butter, I've been in a windowless room for the last 6 hours, time does not exist
what is your life
Free champagne that's what
sarah's view on last night: a threesome to make things less awkward. oh, well done.
All i want from a relationship is to get drunk watch pirates of the Caribbean and have sex
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