You love popeyes more than me
does delicious chicken come out of your vagina?
the people of mcdonalds are all starring at me & this dude like they know we just slept together
I miss being able to drink at 11am just cause it was sunny outside.
i gave him the "yep, i was your girfriend's collegiate lesbian sex story" head nod
It involved homemade coconut rum, a waterfall, and street signs. I'll leave the rest to your capable imagination.
My motherly instincts are overcoming my slutty ones
He turned me into a screamer. Guess I'm really not a lesbian.
How was my weekend? I just blew my nose and a gram of coke fell out. My weekend was fantastic.
How the fuck you gonna play love don't cost a thing in a strip club?
Just cried watching Wimbledon, worst comedown ever.
He started to lick a stick of butter and was calling it Jennifer.
Normally, it will inspire me to work. Today, it's inspiring me to masturbate.
im so sad I can't openly talk about acid tab Sundays
If you can give me an orgasm, you'll get a trophy.
shots, cocks, socks. bingo
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