And my dad told him he was a great looking guy. and then added "no homo" after.
Didn't tell him I was on my period. Then had to surreptitiously remove some uterine lining from his cock.
you were convinced that if all her tampons were gone her period would stop, so you started eating them.
Im watching hello kitty on qvc debating if its a good idea to cook bagel bites on my space heater
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Dude, you posted a cap of a porn to survey if it looked like me. That's pretty certifiably creepy.
you know its a sad night when you can actually see and hear sitcoms on at the bar
During sex he wiggled his hips and said "I'm turning the ice cream" Deal breaker?
I just recycled a years worth of liquor bottles. I can feel my alcoholic carbon footprint shrinking
i don't know how it's possible. but i just bought groceries for a week with the money i made off returning empties
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Turns out he's old enough to be my dad. I'm so excited. I've never had a sugar daddy before. What should I ask for first!? Want anything?
I mean you would really have to try to not have fun at a party that doesn't require pants....
Seriously, this apartment is covered in body glitter. This chick musta been a huuuuuge slut. How do you get it across every surface?
Do you have any forwarding contact info?
The George Foreman grill is melted. I don't know what other problems could arise.
Do the security cameras outside your house capture sound? If so your whole family is going to hear me describe my threesome
it looks like a nuclear can of fuck blew up in here
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