you were convinced campus grass and foliage would give you your daily serving of vegetables to balance out the amount of alcohol you drank.
these two guys are about to go shot for shot with syrup
now he is talking to a potato
when your hometown is famous for abortion clinic bombings, hurricanes, and jude law's newest bastard, its probably time to move.
So me and friend just finished Eiffel towering this girl and sounds great in theory but after the high five has commenced its just a weird threesome especially when you make eye contact with your buddy during the session
I've decided that my new worst fear is that I'll end up on "I Didn't Know I was Pregnant"
I just watched a woman break three wood planks with her boobs. I don't know how I feel about that
The dingo escaped by eating a hole through my screen door. It's loose in the city somewhere.
just saw someone climb out of the dumpster at cvs and start walking down the street like it was completely normal
I like the odds of his and my children being professional athletes too. To support me in my old age, see I do think about the future.
I bet it kind of sucks while you do community service I'm getting blown in the shower. haha
I smelled him yesterday and almost relapsed he's like cocaine
tbh i just wanted to fuck a guy with forearm tattoos but then he was so FORWARD about it
SHE POOPED THE CONDOM WHOLE
It was only a blow job in his car. It's the same as giving a friend a back rub.
The thing about online classes is the prof can't tell this mug is full of beer.
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