4:25 am: I want you here. Ugh.
but i am gonna have to have sex w/ him again to get my earrings back
we've already established he's totally wasted. but now he's just sitting at his computer, doing i don't know what, and he keeps saying "dammmn girl" in a really low whisper
It's underwear night and I am literally in the bar wearing nothing but underwear and flip flops.
just found glitter in my belly button...seriously when will this nightmare end
Well the walls are thin and I can hear the couple next door having sex. I think their dog is somehow involved.
HOW LONG TILL THESE DRUGS WEAR OFF. I WORK IN ONE HOUR, I REPEAT, I WORK IN ONE HOUR.
I'm like five sips away from making a Craigslist post for true love and mustaches. My family is going to disown me tonight.
In the wise words of Scar: "be prepared."
Do you think Scar was a Boy Scout?
They had to stop us from skinny dipping in the reflection pool of the Mormon temple.
I need to get off of her emotional roller coaster. I've been on it for a fucking year and I've been throwing up the entire time.
You don't marry someone you don't want to fuck senseless this is 2014 dammit
It's your birthday, you should get to jizz where you want to. Jizz when you want tooo
He licked the buffalo sauce off my fingers and then we had the best sex of my life.
I just left a 3 minute voicemail to the guy I want to fuck baby talking my cats and I don't know if I can delete it 😐
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