Just washed my feet between classes in the bathroom...Four girls totally judged me...
In the hospital waiting to be tested for the first uti of the school year....I'm BACK BTICHES.
The guy who took my order at mcdonalds asked for my number. I think we should start fucking fast food employees, they're easy and think we're goddesses.
I'm sorry. I know you didn't expect me to be arm deep in vagina when you walked through the door.
as she was beating the hell out of his ex, she screamed prison rules, and smashed her head with a beer bottle. I'm oddly afraid yet so attracted to her now.
Registered sex offender is the model in class today.... There are too many things wrong with him getting naked in front of a lot of college students.
The kid across the hall found me in the hallway using a hot pocket box as a pillow. I said its okay I live here.
Is adulthood just morning sex and then walking through the grocery store 20 min later looking for something to take to work for lunch?
...and then running into your dad at said grocery store...
I know you`re my best friend, but when i wake up with this bad of a hangover and no memories of last night, i dont want to see your tits ad my background.
I have just gotten home. I saw a lot of penis tonight. On a trampoline. Shit got weird.
P.S. I just made up pleasure scepter for the purpose of that last message.
We decided it was acceptable to walk out of class on a quest for Doritos. That high.
It's like my uterus needs a hug... and anti depressants
It was so small.
Tiny. Got to love sexting. Imagine finding out the old fashioned way.
really enjoying the fact I don't remember how the staff party ended. feel like I need to shame drink today
feel at noon?
Randomize
