My dad hugged me and said I love u. I'm glad I didn't pull out that night.
we sat in the hammock and pretended we were skydiving for three hours. jack actually started crying when i convinced him his chute didnt open.
my family just sang happy birthday to baby jesus. no ones even drunk yet
It's a shame that I don't know his last name. Actually, it's an ever bigger shame that I don't know his first name
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
When i look at that picture of him, i'm a little proud to be like yeah, his dick was in my mouth saturday no big deal.
His housemate was playing a sad violin solo for me on my way out. God I hate musicians.
New policy: when a woman uses the word blowjob in a sentence within 5 minutes of meeting her, you buy her a drink.
I think they can follow the trail of blood to my house if they have a problem with me taking a dip in their hot tub last night b4 stepping on a broken bottle
Just pissed in my own closet. Had no idea adult dinner parties could he so awesome.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
i just wanna get shit faced and pass out in some random holly bush with a bucket on my head and stockings for shoes.
Before I left he insisted on serenading me with a ukalele. I might be a little bit in love
He used pronouns for his penis while sexting. I don't know what I did to deserve this.
The irony of the fact that I'm going to be starting my period on Thanksgiving. Something to truly be thankful for.
I think I fell in love last night
That guy had a face tattoo and was named Cheddar. Please tell me you’re kidding.
This town reeks of teen pregnancy.
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