real busy. everything is packed. thats why we ended up at the strip club
Solid performance last night. Wanna be fuck buddies?
Learned a lot. Like boys with frosted tips still exist. And that they're sensitive to constructive criticism.
her tits were misleading. turns out she wasn't cool, smart and funny
you kept going on about how you couldnt haven been the one throwing up because you were peeing in circles.
I made him drop me off at the wrong house waited for him to leave and crawled through several fences so he couldnt stalk me. How was your night?
It's like that depressing moment when you drop your cocaine in the snow.
You coming home soon, man?
HENBARSCLOSE
Having to grow a landing strip to cover the bruises from pole dancing. Thanks for the birthday present, but next time, maybe just a gift card?
I just want to like fall into a pit of hot wings beside a keg of yingling and eat my way to freedom
I drank beer out of some sort of animal horn all night, then we fucked to a "viking metal" album. I feel like I should go pillage something to complete the Norse trifecta.
Hey, how are you?
No. You're dead to me, you hamster stealing slutbag.
If he gets me coffee, cold or no I'll make him see Jesus with my mouth.
I hooked up with the sexiest couple in the LAX BATHROOM IN THE CHANGING FAMILY ROOM HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAA
Just got an exam care package consisting of only adderall wrapped in money. Score one for mom.
Randomize
