It's a law of Nature, girls naturally hate eachother. It's only when there's no competition for a mate that they can hate each other a little less and then are appropriated into the "BFF" slot.
and honestly a story about how you met your future husband that DOESN'T include the words "creeped him on facebook" is really not a story worth sharing
watching "look who's talking now." getting choked up at the end when they find each other at the cabin
doesn't that movie star kirstie alley and have talking dogs in it? new low...even for you
I don't want to eat him, he probably tastes terrible.
My mom just told me to make sure my face isn't on the front cover of the newspaper on 4/21. Challenge accepted
I'm sneaking you alcohol into a hospital. This either says love or "we have a problem"
I peed in my sheets during a dream. Like straight up. A whole new drunk.
It would be like a dance party with a dick inside you. I think that's what Ke$ha wants for the world.
It was fine until he came back to my place, grabbed a beer, HIGH-FIVED me, and left.
I guess crabs is what I get for sleeping with my ex.
I told some guy on tinder, that apparently has a prosthetic leg, that I think we started off on the wrong foot. I hate myself...
Don't forget to make sex 3rd on your calander
I also farted in bed this morning and said, "I don't even care. My body deserves that."
They had an Olympic theme party at her work yesterday. She brought home her fake gold medal and hung it on my cock after she rode me.
I don't know what it is about this quarantine, but I have never written this much smutty fanfic in my life and I am loving it!
Randomize
