At least make sure they are 18
Why
i woke up to her playing with my penis. just wiggling it around and around. awkward night? i would say so.
so she asking me "is it okay to have dangling labias?"
after last night i think it would be a good idea if i wrote a will... you know, just in case.
These old people don't even realize they're giving me weed money for shoveling snow.
I sent out a mass text that said "margaritas for Jesus?" and nobody responded, worst Easter ever.
We aren't going to mix hockey and sex texts tonight.
I totally agree. all sexting is on hold till after the games over.
Playoffs. This shit is serious.
Dude, smoked out of a pumpkin tonight. I like Halloween more now
Did you find any other hidden treasures in my room? Specifically weed? Or Slim Jims?
Fun thought: I realized the thing I miss most about him is dixie kong's double trouble on his super Nintendo. It's possible that I don't have a soul.
I was so gone I thought the cops banging on my door were kids from the party trying to get into my room... needless to say, I started moaning louder so they would take the hint.
I know I'm going to throw up tonight it's just a matter of when and where
Taco Bell is giving high school kids free tacos STEAL YOUR BROTHER'S WALLET I'LL BRING THE WEED.
Currently standing at the bus stop in just a pillowcase and its fucking snowing
It seems that I didn’t convey clearly enough how well and truly fucked we are, Jack. Listen to me very closely: we are DEAD.
Randomize
