There is a new fb quiz: "are you at ypical woman, future ex or from crazy town" - should i take it?
Aren't all three of those the same though?
she just stood in the kitchen yelling "REAL WOMEN HAVE CURVES"
His facebook says he is a fan of "underwater handjobs"
Reading in my econ of energy textbook about the US' largest oil spill from the 1990's.. guess i can't sell this one back either
Ohhh, TODAY your worried. Becasue last weekend when we warned you about her you said "shes too hot to have herpes."
Your last words were "i'm gonna motorboat the bartender." then you commenced with an attempted motorboat
I'll have to explain it to you tonight when i call drunk. It will sound better
Its a little weird going to a wedding where I've screwed the bride and my wife has screwed the groom. Great wedding though.
We need to be on the same page regarding the 3some this time. No more "one of us should probably leave" moments.
Got home last night and found a Big Mac in the shower, tampons all over the place, and two pairs of your panties on the front porch.
He's against "violent sex" cause apparently my body is "sacred". Like dude I'm about to tell you about blowing your brother just so you'll fuck me like an animal Jesus Christ....
Dude hobos go hard. I learned a lot last night.
There must be a happy medium universe where you get it on with my girlfriend enough to cause me pain but not a full on cardiac arrest. It's a fine line to tread though.
So what if you don't want to be with your family. Go drink alone and watch Netflix like a normal person, don't be productive!
At some point i am going to say to you "i have this really bad idea! You in? " just go with it.
Randomize
