He was dressed in cheap leather and smelled like death.
Is masturbating to pics of your ex on Facebook considered cheating?
You are proof that most things are best left unsaid.
You would get kicked out of the study lounge for being drunk the monday of finals week
He didn't seem too mad about the puke on the side of his car. You still have a chance.
The lid of our salsa is promoting a contest that ended in July '09
i was on the fence about his sexual orientation until he referred to his marlboro loghts as "carrie bradshaws"
Oh. And what's the twitter protocol for following the guy you blew behind a shed?
I like the odds of his and my children being professional athletes too. To support me in my old age, see I do think about the future.
Thanks for bailing me out last night guys. it's bullshit that everbeering people at bars is illegal. bitches have no sense of adventure anymore
Remember when we used to share painkillers at parties? Now we're dealing in blood pressure pills. Oh, how the mighty have fallen.
if any part of your body has ever entered my vagina you are fucking obligated to speak to me if i so desire
She was giving me head while we were in my tree house, my mom then came out to let the dog out so she stopped so I would stop groaning, was it good? You tell me
I deleted all traces of him from my phone
even the dick picks he sent you?
no are you nuts? saved that shit to my camera roll
That car ride home was pretty awkward. Your feeling up the girlfriend to the guy who's throwing up out the window. Thanks for that.
I woke up with eight different shoes in my bed what the hell happened last night
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