are you serious?? is your clit as sensitive as your emotions
i wish
Ikea night.
?
Insert tab A into swedish slot B
Fat chicks shouldn't bartend
Take one last look at my face, because I'm drinking it off tonight.
I should hang a sign above my bed that says "get hard or go home."
He was more tolerable with alcohol in my system. I woke up to him squeezing me and telling me how he wanted to dip me in strawberry jam.
I don't want to be with anyone who doesn't accept me for who I am. eating cheeseburgers in bed is my favorite activity.
I GOT JUDGED BY A GUY WORKING AT THE LEAST CLASSY STRIP CLUB. Peeing isn't a right, it's a privilege.
He was peeing on the back wall of a building. He would have been okay if the building hadn't been a police station.
idk about you, but when i sext i just hit em with the "yo lets bang" text
Just because your gf gives mediocre bjs doesn't mean I can fill that void
Blacked-in to me, shirtless, giving myself finger guns in the mirror and rapping "stacks in the club stacks stacks in the club."
By talk things out did he mean have passionate angry sex?
I'm drunkenly throwing popcorn at a spider, fuck him. Why does his scary 8 legs get to be happy?
It’s a prereq for med school, so I hope the professor likes blow jobs
Randomize
