Seriously. Destroy her vagina. Do it like an angry baboon mating with a gentle manatee.
Have you ever seen an entire lecture hall fist pump? It's magical.
girl is pretty boring. i'm gonna see if she'll let me finger her.
Our adventure is going to pick up his pipe and weed that he ditched when he got pulled over the other day.
HOT DATE.
What's the point of having 3 fuck buddies when their periods all seem to sync up
I have been drinking at the bar so long today that I literally just found a spiderweb from my leg to the bar.
She acts like a 3 year old but with fantastic tits. This girl is the reason women are objectified
We watched scrubs, then I got a shower blowjob which led to shower sex and the living room floor sex. Now she's baking cookies. I may not be studying, but I'm doing something right.
I just gave him road head. He came in the Taco Bell drive thru which seems pretty typical for my life.
My mom and sister were over. When my drunk roommate came home, he yelled "GOT BITCHES IN MY CONDO"
you just have the mind of an innocent, non-tainted child.
YOU KNOW THAT'S BULLSHIT BECAUSE YOU'RE THE REASON IT'S BULLSHIT
I just watched my high school guidance counselor pee in the backyard of this party.
Awake! can you bring me my pants...im under the couch
But yeah, I am thinking that "Cake Heresy" will now be a thing
I dropped my slice of pineapple on the kitchen floor and was just staring at it about to cry. It was really good pineapple.
Randomize
