i just hope all the shady shit stops so i can let him into my pants
New discovery: conditioner is better for jerking off than baby oil. Fuck yes.
After she came with my hands around her neck, she sat there for a minute and gave me the scuba diving sign for a-ok.
So just to get a feel for things...how prone are you to male Amish strippers...
We broke two of his toes while having sex. He laughed said he'd fix it in the morning and kept going. I think I'm in love
You know, I never expected to find myself with a roommate who I'd have to ask not to have sex while I'm in the room. And yet, here we are.
Shame tastes like burnetts and latex
I can't be 100% sure of this but I think tonight was the first time I told a middle aged woman holding a baby to go fuck herself
I would have gladly let him decapitate me with the way he was biting on my neck.
Not genetic. He's drunk and texted me a dick pic. Not genetic. Thank God!
Ok thats it i need a list. Full names, nicknames, in which frats, with a photo, of all the guys youve hooked up with because three of the same guys is ridiculous
Note to self: trying to grow pubes back = worst decision of 2014 thus far
I threw up a lot of peanut butter last night.
250 people in this lecture & my prof asks who already drank green beer this morning& is drunk right now. I WAS THE ONLY ONE TO RAISE MY HAND
Does this mean I have to put a bra on now
Randomize
