Haven't eaten in 11 hrs. I am gonna have so much material to talk about with anorexic girls now
Seriously, I'm delusional. Idk how these models even walk on the runway
My low point of the night was when my roommate spit out her jello shot and i took it...
I wish I had a dollar for every time I've slept off a late night I dont want to remember in my recliner.
i wish i was a boy too so i knew what a blow job felt like
I got a Cease & Desist email from NBC for downloading Bruno. I am not going down for gay porn.
I feel like my vagina stays drunk longer than the rest of me. It's always super sensitive and hungry the day after drinking.
he had a dikembe mutombo jersey on, was swatting peoples drinks out of their hand and wagging his finger in their face everytime he did it.
Well I'm just gonna sit here naked in this chair and whatever happens happens
You wouldnt be able to explain the can of green beans in my mailbox, would you?
hr gave me pretxwk salad and a doubke shot of grey goose. i approve! tou guys are a beautidil couple.
YOU TOLD ME THAT YOU CAUGHT A TAXI HOME. SARAH SAID THE POLICE DROPPED YOU OFF.
i miss freshman lecture halls much harder to take shots in a class of 20
Guess whose hungry like a hippo: this bitch.
I found it. now I'm going to the gym to be "healthy" or whatever that folklore is called.
I dont remember you getting a condom thrown at you. I think I had a concusion
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