At least make sure they are 18
Why
Its not like he dircectly choose a cheeseburger over sex, it was more like I said seductively "I really appreciate this and I'm going to make it up to you anyway I can" and he replied "i want a bacon cheeseburger"
i guess he just knew i was going to sleep with him either way
I wish they made helmets for livers.
Yeah, I was googling pictures of sharks, and I accidentally typed "shart." Huge mistake.
And then somehow we were arguing over how to fold our arms
I had a dream she was puking on me, but sadly in real life she was puking on me too
That just sounds like a recipe for sex in my backyard. Yes.
You have all been randomly chosen to participate in a new game called: how high was I? If you have any information about this or about where my clothing items went give me a shout. Thanks an good luck.
4:37 am. You're wearing underwear and carpet skates. Borderline crying. You want to punch Morgan. Have not stopped singing Give Your Heart a Break.
The silhouette of his dick looked like an eagle. Amurrican.
He's getting me an energy drink and said good morning beautiful. He must sense i'm cutting him off from the sex.
Well you got kicked off a stripper pole. They said girls only.
I'm currently in a U-Haul truck right now. Going to a party. I hate myself.
just to let you know, that was probably the funniest text i've ever received.
I suppose that kind of helps fill the void where my self respect used to be.
you walked 30 min all the way back to the dorms at 2am?
i was more bummed that i dropped all my skittles.
You offered him a “Sorry I Blew Your Brother” Blowjob. How does that make it right?
I promised him it would be better than the one I gave his brother which is really nice of me since their actually only half brothers and his brother is cuter
Randomize
