i asked him how he could stand the smell of skunk. his answer was "it smells like good weed"...
Apparently, I woke up in the middle of the night, got up out of bed, dropped trou in the corner, squatted, and pissed on the carpet. When Eric heard, he thought it was the dog and started yelling, and I responded by saying "No no, its okay. It's me."
Not a single person will look me in the eye. Last night must've been bad.
Drunk me thinks I can light up a cig anywhere, sober me finds this hilarious and highly irresponsible. The grocery store is not a bar.
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The night started going downhill when I set my foot on fire.
I actually don't know if I can stand up. I just know better than to try
I've liked him since I puked on him on my birthday so I want it to be special.
Well when you get back to your computer, there's a nice explanation of pansexuality on your Skype.
I owe you cheese. The drunk munchies don't acknowledge food ownership.
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Whenever you get off. By "pick me up from work" I mean, "pick me up from a bar by work at your earliest convenience" :)
had a dream you helped me fill my shoes with yogurt. we were even like "why didn't we think of this before?!" like it was just so obvious
that sounds like something we'd do... we're onto something here
DO NOT THROW SOUP AT YOUR SCREEN
I forgot to tell you that he serenaded me with "Fuck Her Gently" by Tenacious D. And I didn't hate it.
i think the people from taco bell are onto us. they had my order ready today at 3am BEFORE I even got there.
I’m not lawful evil! I do evil things because I want to, not because of the law
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