I can text with my tongue
I'm in that akward stage between jailbait and cougar
My hot female boss's cubical is right next to mine with a wall between us. Do you think it is too forward to make a glory hole in the wall?
New swimming pool is best sex toy ever. We are pioneering the doggie-style paddle.
She was drunk breaking up with me. All of my emails to her were coming back with UNSUBSCRIBE as the subject.
i put that paper plate back in your cabinet because i ate all the ketchup off and you can't even tell. you're welcome.
he just flipped me off the bed, said "deal with it", and came on me.
You took it upon yourself to rid the world of them, and by that I mean you dressed up as Batman and started kicking them in the shins.
This is the point in ur life where u should realize there's nothing left but a spiral of shame
I should but I don't. All I see is an escalator of success
I feel like I got hit by a truck. Or a baby dinosaur. One of them ran over my body and then stuck me in a blender of fire and storm clouds
Why am I getting texts saying are you ready for this butthole? Help
we left when one of the guys tried to stick himself with an IV that he found
How do you say "thats kinda illegal" in thai?
He's got a british accent, a tounge ring, and he's wearing an eye patch... Of corse I'm fucking him
you fell asleep with her panties on your face. how are you surprised??
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