You'd think with all the porn he watches he'd be a little better at this...
doing washington apple shots with my mom. sunday afternoons suddenly got so much better.
i woke up surrounded by junior mints. not to mention, there was a huge pyramid of natty cans baracading the door shut. this is why i can't drink alone.
i think you broke pat's ankle when you drove over it... he's freaking out but on a more serious note i'm 99% sure i saw a werewolf
Still in Rome. Hooked up with frat boy from SoCal that's studying abroad. He said he was 1/8 italian. I'll take it.
We are two peas in an std pod
it was either a really good one night stand or a really really good first date. thank you online dating
some bitch filled my sink with salsa.
He ate me out on the balcony. My asian neighbors cats are judging me...ALL 3 OF THEM!!
Just drank an entire bottle of champagne for lunch. It's gonna be that kind of semester.
She had a tattoo on her pelvis that said "it's cock-o-clock" an had clocks and hot dogs exploding away from it. I'd like to tell you it was deal breaker buuuuuuut.......
Our night has progressed to doing coke off a laundry machine through a parking ticket
There's a 50-50 shot that I will wake up with an ass tattoo tomorrow.
and that's when you shouted "ahh motherland" as you streaked down hall 4B
I’m literally lecturing this class on professionalism, while my body is undoubtably covered in leftover cum from last night. I’m a fucking role model.
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