i just witnessed two asians having sex for the first time ten feet away from me..hes having a seizure..what the duck is going on???
So, right as I'm cumming, I pull out and go "PYEW PYEW" like Star Wars lasers. Best part is, I missed her completely.
he convinced me that i wont have to do the walk of shame bc he has to go to jail in the morning
well.. I tried flushing my sandals down the toilet
The first aid guy just told us to go get hammered...I'm taking his advice
I tackled a mailbox like a linebacker. He almost broke his hip and his friend lit a bottle rocket off inside of the car. Yes it was a successful night.
I guess the study abroad went badly, I gave him a joint and he just smoked it and cried all the way from the airport
Bro, she used the potato bongs to make French fries after. She's deff a keeper.
Im currently watching two girls making out. In the library. Hope your studying is going as good as mine is. Haha
I almost had to fight a bird, and you know how scared I am of birds. It found that Percocet that I lost in the grass last week, I threw out my back when I launched myself at that little fucker.
do you think eating a burger while having sex counts as multitasking skills?
I'm good. Got my nipples pierced and threw my back out. 🙌
That sad moment when the drawer I used to keep condoms in now has poptarts in it..
if you were broke and planning on using koolaid as a tequila chaser which flavor would you pick?
I either have a problem or a really good solution... I just ordered my homecoming dress off of a website that sells forplay outfits.
Randomize
