What kind of poor, pathetic town do we live in where a horny teenage girl is sitting in her basement on a saturday night, unlaid?
I don't know where your sunglasses are, I was too preoccupied with girls not old enough to drive past midnight.
Can you put "designated driver" on a resume?
Judging by the fact that my hair was glued to my head with vomit, yeah I think I couldve used a friend last night
NC is no longer selling 190 proof Everclear. We are officially no longer the greatest state.
The last thing I remember is stabbing him with his diabetes medicine
We convinced you to take a shot out of the sponge...there were still suds in it.
Dude, didn't you know? Its balls out wednesday.
Send me the video of myself under the polar bear skin. It's important.
I woke up with hair in my teeth and half his beard was missing.
This is that think about life weed. Thank god I'm in American lit this semester. I can actually write papers in this vat of introspective stoned.
We could have had it all. And by all I mean sex in your Toyota Corolla.
it was like a shit fog rolling out of the east to encompass me and have it's way with me
I folded my dollar bills into mustaches in preparation for our trip to the strip club
We could have a classy candlelight sonic dinner with fireball cocktails if you leave now. Twat tickler centerpieces.
Randomize
