I only want to know people that are dynamic intelligent and totally insane
You know, Peter Parker would not have been nearly as cool if he had gotten bitten by an ant.
could you grab mr moo while you're at his apt?
you brought your stuffed animal to a booty call?
he pointed at my clit and asked with a confused face, 'whats this thingy??"
I feel like i'm in "To Catch a Predator - The Musical"
i just turned the eviction notice into a beer pong list
[insert really romantic bullshit about how much i love you and how beautiful you are so you will suck my dick tonight]
By this time tomorrow I expect us to be sitting at the kitchen table either playing a drinking game, or crying. Set an alarm
Stayed out til 7 am.... Did u know there's a guy who goes up and down the quad at that hour playing bagpipes?
Got with someone dressed up as Allen from the hangover so that's where I'm at in life
I should become a firefighter. Who uses his cock to fight fires. Like a Superhero.
Just FYI....you totally yelled out Royals while we were having sex last night lol.
I need dunkaroos back in my life.
He told me I had smoking hot areolas then he wins an executive of the year award. How does that even happen?
He went three whole days without making a star wars reference, of course he got sex
Randomize
