I really want to sleep with her friend. I'm hoping our casual sex relationship will somehow lead to that.
I have no memory of puking on someone. Was he cute?
in the car goin home for fam dinner and he is silent... i think he realized how big of a whore his little sister is
I was just at the bank and there was a fat lady wearing a cape. today is gonna be awesome.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You decided to make a porno with gummy bears and things went downhill from there.
She wants out first dance to be to 98 degrees i do cherish you...remember how i said we didn't need open bar....
Bad idea. College students cannot afford both alcohol and a cat. Unless said cat is irish, and can feed itself with fifths of whisky.
we where pretty evenly matched until he threw me through that wall
Holy shit. This 2 year old just told me her nipples were for her boyfriend. Hello future leaders of america
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Typcal friday morning so far. Puke, shower, commute/puke, coffee, puke, coffee, bagel, good to go. Lunch today?
Wow, im gonna be a great doctor..."hi let me save your life but first check out this pic of me deep throating a handle of grey goose"
I see your smile in the face of every drunk that senses he's about to slay a troll.
I was late because I helped this old romanian lady mow her lawn at 2AM.
Oh my god he's laying on a longboard singing the song from cool runnings.
Dude I got in an Uber this morning and he goes “I drove you last night”\n“You got your dick sucked in the back seat”
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